Saying Yes! The Power of Reframing (Especially for Parents of Kids with ADHD)

As parents, we all know the “no” cycle too well:

“Can I build a fort with every blanket in the house?” No.
“Can I eat popsicles for breakfast?” Definitely not.
“Can I stay up until midnight to see if owls really do hoot?” What even is this question? No!

For parents of kids with ADHD, the “no” cycle can feel even more overwhelming. ADHD brains thrive on curiosity, creativity, and spontaneity—and those qualities can clash with our instinct to keep things tidy, quiet, and not chaotic. But what if I told you that saying “yes” more often could be your secret parenting superpower?

It’s not about giving in to every wild idea. (We’re still not getting a pet raccoon, Jessica.) It’s about reframing the conversation to connect with your child, validate their ideas, and teach valuable life skills—all while preserving your sanity.

Why Reframing Works for Kids with ADHD

Kids with and without ADHD often hear “no” more than they hear “yes.” This can lead to frustration, feelings of rejection, and—let’s be real—epic meltdowns. By flipping “no” into “yes,” you’re doing more than just keeping the peace:

Validating their needs and ideas: All kids and especially those with ADHD often have big ideas and big emotions. A “yes” shows them you’re on their team.
Providing structure: Adding boundaries to your “yes” helps them learn problem-solving and follow-through.
Strengthening connection: When kids feel heard and supported, they’re more likely to cooperate—and feel good about themselves.

Personally, I’ve found this to be a game-changer. When my daughter asked if she could turn the living room into a jungle gym (read: total chaos), my initial reaction was a firm no. But instead, I paused and said, “Yes—if you can keep it in the playroom and clean up when you’re done.” Not only did this reframe keep the peace, but she learned to take responsibility for her mess—and I kept my living room intact.

How to Say “Yes” (Without Losing Your Mind)

1. Messy Requests

ADHD kids are sensory seekers—messy play is practically a love language. Instead of shutting it down with “no,” try:

“Yes, you can play with slime—at the table. And when you’re done, we’re cleaning it up together.”

Will it still get in their hair? Probably. But that’s what baths (and humor) are for.

2. Impulsive Buys

Kids in general and especially ADHD brains love instant gratification. Instead of saying “no” when they ask for that $20 squishy toy at checkout, reframe it:

“Yes, you can have that—once you’ve earned the money. Let’s set up a chore chart to help you save!”

This teaches delayed gratification, a skill many kids need extra practice with. Pro tip: Use visual tools, like a sticker chart or a clear jar to track progress—it makes abstract goals feel more tangible.

3. Creative (and Chaotic) Ideas

“Can I build a rocket ship out of cereal boxes?” Instead of squashing their enthusiasm, try:

“Yes, let’s grab the recycling bin and see what we can build together! But we’re keeping it in the kitchen, not the living room.”

You’ll be surprised how creative they can get—and how much joy you’ll find joining in.

When “Yes” Isn’t Possible

Sometimes, “no” is unavoidable. (We’re still not jumping off the roof, no matter how much padding you think the trampoline adds.) But even then, you can soften the blow:

Redirect: “No, we can’t adopt a raccoon. But let’s research cool animals we could learn about!”
Explain briefly: “No, we can’t dig a hole to China because the backyard isn’t safe for digging. How about we draw a map of the world instead?”

The key is offering alternatives that keep their curious minds engaged.

Pro Tips for Parenting a Child with ADHD

Pause Before Responding: ADHD kids are impulsive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Take a moment to think before answering. A brief pause can help you find creative ways to say “yes.”
Add Boundaries to Your Yes: Structure helps all kids thrive. “Yes, you can build a fort, but keep it in your room and clean up after.”
Use Humor to Connect: Parenting kiddos is messy—literally and figuratively. A little laughter can diffuse tension and keep things positive.
Use Visual Supports: Tools like timers, sticker charts, or visual schedules can help keep “yes” activities manageable and structured.

Take the first step toward becoming the parent your child truly needs with this free self-reflection guide! Click HERE to get the free guide.

Why It’s Worth It

For kids with ADHD, a simple “yes” can be transformative. It’s not just about avoiding meltdowns (though that’s a bonus)—it’s about teaching essential skills:

Responsibility: Cleaning up after messy play or earning money for a toy.
Problem-Solving: Finding creative ways to make their big ideas work.
Confidence: Knowing their thoughts and needs are valued.

One of my favorite “yes” moments came when my daughter asked if she could build a roller coaster for her dolls in her bedroom at 7 p.m. on a school night. Instead of a flat-out “no,” I reframed: “Yes, let’s plan it for this weekend so we can make it extra fun!” She learned about planning ahead, we avoided a bedtime meltdown, and the roller coaster was a great learning experience!

Boosting Connection and Confidence

Parenting a child with ADHD is equal parts rewarding and challenging. Saying “yes” more often isn’t about giving in—it’s about building trust, teaching life skills, and strengthening your bond, see my other post about Connection. So the next time your kid asks for slime, a pet llama, or to turn the couch into a jungle gym, take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself: How can I say yes?

And hey, at least you’re not saying yes to the raccoon.

This week, challenge yourself to say “yes” to at least one of your child’s wild, creative, or messy ideas. Whether it’s slime at the kitchen table, building a cereal box rocket ship, or planning a backyard safari, find a way to reframe “no” into a “yes” with boundaries that work for you.

Then, share your story! How did your child respond? What creative ideas came to life?

Comment below—I’d love to hear how you’re turning chaos into connection. Let’s inspire each other to parent with humor, empathy, and a whole lot of “yes!”

Check out this FREE resource: Top 10 Strategies to Support Neurodiverse Kids at Home and School! Click HERE to get the resource.

Pin4

4 Shares